Collection of best jokes

Abraham in Heaven

A teacher was leading a big class at famous local school. He
was just a notorious guy, and known to drink a lot of beer and brandy.
One day he asked the students, do you believe Abraham had a son when he
was 100 years?
Tilo, one of the student lift the hand and answered, Yes, his wife Sarah had
90 years, and he died and stays in heaven with God.
The teacher continues and says, do you think Abraham went to heaven?
The boy says, Yes, the bible says Abraham is with God in heaven now as
I'm speaking with you.
The teacher says, what if he is in hell.
The boy says then you'll ask him.

Little Hary on Math

Little Hary returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3' and I said "6" replies Johnny.
"But that's right!"
"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f***ing difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said too!"

Little Gini in the class

Little Gini was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through out the class. One day the teacher asked her while she was napping, `Tell me, Gini, who created the universe?`
When Gini didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
`God Almighty!` shouted Gini. Teacher said, `Very good,` and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Gini, `Who is our Lord and Savior?`
But, Gini didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. `Jesus Christ!` shouted Mary.
The teacher said, `Very good,` and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Gini a third question. `What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?`
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Gini jumped up and shouted, `If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!

A son's prayers

A father walks by this son's bedroom and stops. He heard him say, " God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grandma. Ta Ta Grandpa."
The father did not know what the boy meant but he was glad his son was praying.
The next day he found Grandpa died. That night he went to his sons room and heard his son praying,
" God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta Ta Grandma."
The dad was scared but waited till morning. And sure enough Grandma was died.
That night he went his sons room again and heard him praying, "God bless Mommy. Ta Ta Daddy."The Dad way really scared. He didn't sleep all night. In the morning he went to the doctor to check him.
When he came home he saw his wife. His wife said,
" Thank God you're here, Honey!!! we found the Milkman dead on the front porch this morning!!"

Little Johnny on the bus

Little johnny got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
Little johnny asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
Little johnny replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that." The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many." Little johnny said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grand- children and he doesn't wear his collar that way.
The priest getting impatient said, "I am the Father of hundreds," and went back to reading his book.
Little johnny sat quietly...but on leaving the bus he leaned over and said, "Well, maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."